Checking In and Checking Out

One month in TLF (temporary lodging facility) is long enough! While we are grateful for the accommodations, safety, and ease of transition, our family has been in tight quarters for far too long. While Paisley has adopted my shoe collection, she has also taken notice of my wrinkle cream regimen and demands to know when she, too, will get to start using my products.

We get to move out this week and our family is ready; ready for a place to call home, ready for stability, ready for our own space, ready for Teflon and kitchen knives that cut. HAHAHA! Although the last few weeks have presented with some challenges, we hit a few celebratory milestones as well...

Happy Birthday, Channing Jo

Channing is one of a kind. If her pregnancy weren't hard enough with constant hyperemesis, Braxton Hicks ensuing at 16 weeks, and multiple trips to the labor and delivery for complications, her year with us has been a whirlwind in a nutshell. Here's a quick recap: 

Channing has been a temperamental ticking time bomb since she broke into this world. The phrase "never wake a sleeping baby" has yet to carry less weight than any other sentiment. I used to have to strap her to me wherever I went and during every activity of the day. One unforgettable night, all I wanted to do was make some chili, and Channing had discovered a pitch that had never before been heard in nature. Desperate to start dinner, I hitched her to my chest and started my magic over my stove. Eventually Channing went limp and flung her head and arms backwards like the lifeless dolly that she was when Aaron came through the door. He immediately noticed Channing in the baby carrier just dangling over my bubbling Mexican feast and we both just lost it. That is one of my favorite memories and a living testament that tears and frustration can immediately turn to hysterical glee. Not much has changed since that night; Channing still has a hankering to be in her mom's arms all day long. Truth be told...most days I relish in her dependency on me. 

At five months old, I took her to a pediatrician for a random cold that just wouldn't resolve itself. It was during that quick visit that we discovered Channing had an unusual birth defect known as a craniosynostosis. (Some day I will dedicate an entire blog post to our experience. Parents going through this nightmare need a voice of hope and light during the scariest time of their lives. Such a blog barely exists online. Everything you find is cold and clinical.) In short, the two sides of her skull had fused shut prematurely. This was very problematic as her brain needed room to grow and her skull wasn't having any of it. 

Today's medical treatments and advancements astonish me. Every time I look at Channing and her squiggly scar that extends from one side to the other over the top of her head, I am amazed at the saving graces that allowed my sweet girl to live and thrive like any other one year old. You see, the treatment for a craniosynostosis is a craniotomy along with a parietal morcellation. That is to say she needed the removal of the fusion, about 5 cm width extending from the soft spot all the way to the end of the adjoining plates, which for Channing was nearly to her external occipital protuberance (the little notch in the back of your skull). She would then have here parietal bones (sides of her head) cut into strips allowing for expansion of her sides. She is the constant reminder of the greatness of God, and His ability to bring together people from all walks of life to come unto Him and ask in total humility the desires of their hearts. In 8 months this child taught me more about faith, trust, and complete submission to our Lord than any other experience in my life.

Channing's fussiness and constant need for affection pale in the mere fact that she is still a living piece of our crazy puzzle. She has spunk and is taking leaps and bounds in her development. She cruises from one piece of furniture to the next, and I am anxiously awaiting the first time she dares to venture her first step independently from her safety net. She signs a few words and vocalizes even more. She is quite the entertainer and loves an audience. She has made up her own game to play with each of us and begs for any kind of recognition for her whit. My favorite game is the one she plays with her daddy. She offers him her pacifier and just as he is about to grab it, her nimble little finger clutch it back into her palms and she trusts it into her chest while simultaneously throwing her head back in maniacal laughter. It really is a sight! I predict as she grows into herself over the years, she will undoubtedly be the family clown. 

As her one year birthday approached, I realized we would be spending it in the hotel. Such a fact could have certainly put a damper on my spirits, but I found a way to celebrate Channing's life and make it memorable. I scavenged through all 6 aisles of the BX and found a birthday tablecloth and flatware. The Commissary just hauled in its holiday fixings so a big meal was definitely on the menu! We were also blessed to have in attendance our new friends from Oxford to help us celebrate our wee one's first year milestone. Park, Presents, and Chocolate CAKE!!! Needless to say, the birthday girl made a splash at her first of many birthday jamborees. 

Exploring the Base

RAF Croughton is a tiny installation to say the least. Everything is spread out enough though, that without a car, each outing is a bit of a jaunt for three little critters. All the better for me before entering the Commissary or the library to have my heathens on the brink of exhaustion; they fall in line better that way. LOL!

The library is definitely number one on our daily to-do list. The kids have discovered their love of reading along with nightly story time with mom before retiring to their beds for the day. With as fast as they are growing up, having this extra month with them before being able to apply for school placement has indeed been a delight.

Croughton library has a wonderful array of movies in addition to its kid's room filled to the brim with children's books and closed off exits. Aaron and I have rented some fun movies over the last month that we watched together after the kids had passed out. Movie time was always something Aaron and I enjoyed together before we became parents of such maniacs. Aaron and I have been able to reconnect in dialogue over thought-provoking topics such as life on Mars, the C.I.A., and cognitive studies. Believe me, after spending the day in the company of Sponge-Bob and Little Foot, such adult stimulation is a requirement for mental stability or this mom would be flying out of the coo coo's nest.

With the only reliable wi-fi on base, the kids and I found ourselves in the comfort of the children's room many afternoons. While the kids plowed through countless Eric Carle books, I tried to connect with other adult humans on FaceTime and construct my weekly blog posts. I can say without hesitation that our daily outings to the library will be the one sore spot about moving off base and into the city.

TMC is Back in Business

One day while setting out for a change in scenery, I came across the Arts & Crafts center. While viewing their calendar of upcoming events and classes, they informed me their crochet tutor is leaving this year and they have been hard pressed to find a replacement. I quickly gave them a run down of my qualifications, and they pounced at the idea to have me entertain on crochet night. I have sort of received a soft hire to fill the paid position in 2017.

The director of Arts & Crafts also encouraged me to sign up for the annual craft fair this December to showcase some of my pieces from the online Etsy shop, Tender Moments Crochet. I had put my business on the back burner while moving here, because I didn't know if I could operate it from abroad. Since the fair, or fayre as they say, is on an American installation, I am able to participate! I meet with the legal office two weeks from now to establish my business in Europe and I am teeming with enthusiasm at the prospects of sharing my work with all of England. It is so cold here that I have a feeling my warmth will be spread in more ways than one.

Aaron and I found a wool warehouse in Northamptonshire that had many of the yarns I was experienced with using and we bought out the place! Not really, but I did discover that when a website encourages you to place your order online, they mean it. The sales associate was more than testy at the idea of tracking down all the skeins in my order. I had been warned that this culture has a knack for honesty and being forthright with their thoughts, but this was my first-hand encounter with it. I just politely explained to her that I had driven over an hour to come here and hadn't realized her business operated primarily online, and since I would be spending a small fortune in her store, YES...yes she would be running around looking for all the assortments of yarn I was purchasing. I had to dig deep for my ability to be confrontational, but thankfully my mother's genes exist deep down in my little piglets. I acquired what I came for, and TMC is officially one step closer to becoming an international company!

We also discovered that day that when the forecast reads 10% chance of rain, that means it is going to rain. In fact, 0% change of precipitation means you best have your umbrella handy. My kids now never leave the TLF without their trusty Spiderman and Elsa umbrellas. When overhead protection isn't necessary, AJ deems his "brelly" is a suitable cane in a pinch when you need to put forth your best "Uncle Scrooge" impersonation.

Tricare Overseas

Much of my anxiety about this move was brought on by the medical prospects for my son while living in Europe. If you look back to my blog "Heading into the Storm", you will see what mighty wars we have been faced with since the day we accepted this assignment. We had been here for over 10 days when Paisley came down with a little infection. It was just the push we needed to finally go forward with enrolling our kids into Tricare Overseas and find out what options we had for AJ. God knows just how to motivate me; He puts one of my children at risk for something and this mama moves her hiney! 

We made our way to the clinic to speak directly with the Tricare and EFMP offices. We successfully enrolled our entire family with the exception of AJ into Tricare Overseas Prime and were told that AJ would automatically be enrolled into Tricare Overseas Standard after 120 days. We would also need to enroll him into ECHO Overseas to acquire payment for his specialized therapies. 

In addition, we discovered that none of our family would be seen by on-base doctors. When we lost our appeal for AJ due to on-base medical facilities being incapable of care for his diagnosis, we weren't aware that the base clinic is actually unequipped to treat ANY of us! Again, Aaron and I find ourselves shaking our heads at the deception delivered to us in our denial for sponsorship of our son. We were certainly under the impression that AJ alone would have to be enrolled in the NHS and see a provider off-base. We were wrong, ALL of us will in fact find a GP within our community and won't be dealing with Tricare at all. We are now a part of an insurance company known as International SOS. 

We were coached on how to find a clinician within a comfortable commute of our new home and how to put them in the ISOS network if they weren't already available within the websites endless list of suitable providers. We simply make the phone call, suggest the provider with their contact information, and ISOS connects with the specialist to work out a contract of payment and does background checks for credibility. I asked if the same protocol would be available for a BCBA therapist for my son needing ABA therapy. The Tricare representative assured me the same process would in fact give us access to his needed treatment. WHAT THE HECK!?!?! I was stunned at the thought of how easy and accessible his treatment would be. You can be assured this lit fire to my coals. I am one heated mother! Again, how in the world can an insurance company outright deny the military child with special needs when there is suitable care so easily reachable. The answer is simple. It is a prejudice policy rejecting children with autism into their overseas program based on the guise of no treatment available in country when in fact their are appropriate therapies, and the process of obtaining them is actually user-friendly!

We found out today from a surgery (doctor's office) that AJ can even get his current medication we use to treat ADHD from our local chemist (pharmacist). Great Britain has a policy that allows visitors from other countries with different standards of care access to the treatments prescribed to them by their home country. This is tremendous news for us as AJ has made huge gains since taking his medication. However, more troubling was the fact that his medication type, again, was used as reasoning to deny him command sponsorship due to its non-availability in the UK. Forget that there are other medicinal treatments available to treat ADHD, AJ's medication IS available!

After discovering these atrocities, Aaron and I made contact again with our congressman's staff. We were charmed to hear that another member had been brought on board to our case, and Representative Jason Chaffetz had personally inquired with them last week demanding to know what gains they had made in our favor. Such news has me basking in the thought that we might forever change the process the EFMP currently operates under for the military child with special needs. Aaron politely offered a way ahead for the staff to work hand in hand with the correct offices in the military and try to find a solution together. They warmly accepted the suggestion and will continue to fashion a bridge for the active duty member and his family to serve and accept assignments overseas.

More English Culture

Whenever making our way outside the gates of the base, I think I am going to need the soundtrack to a James Bond movie playing in the background. It is no phenomenon to see 10 or more ridiculously expensive cars out and about running everyday normal errands such as frequenting the grocery store or dining at McDonald's. Ferraris, Bentleys, Lamborghinis, and Maseratis to name a few; they're everywhere. I think Aaron had better consider taking out three more insurance policies for me before I hit the motorway. An amazing driver I am not!

Smoking a fag (cigarette) is a huge trend here for young adults. Thankfully among the youth, it is more frowned upon, but you can't walk anywhere without breathing in gads of fumes from the casual smoker on the pavement. I swear I am trying to cut back to inhaling one pack a day! LOL!

Although advertisement for tobacco products is illegal, there is certainly a lack of anti-smoking ads along with education of the harmful side-effects. In fact advertisement isn't a thing around here period. You won't see a single billboard of any kind around these parts. Everything tries to maintain the look of Old England in preserving its charm. I actually find it quite refreshing. 

I have learned a thing or two about English vocabulary and lingo. For two countries that speak the same language, we certainly have our own names for things. Their use of profanity is also one to adapt to for it is nothing to hear the F-bomb dropped during a game show. In fact after 10:30 pm, several public channels turn into adult only entertainment and nudity is completely acceptable. Sorry, that's one culture shock I hope not get over during my three years here.

Furthermore, I need to limit my use of the word "crap". I have learned in my short stay that "crap" is an unsightly term and is viewed as salty language. I am going to have to work extra hard to curb that expression as it is my go-to and replacement for the typical swear word. You will be happy to know I am trying out "crud", "stink" and "rats", but so far none seem to be taking the place of the liberating feeling of shouting an "Oh CRAP!" when you need to most. It takes two weeks to solidify a new habit. Check back in to see which one stuck! LOL!

Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock

You are probably wondering while reading this post, "Why in the world are her kids not in school yet?". Well I will tell you. The process to enroll your kids in school is a convoluted one at best. We first need to have an official contract proving residence signed by both us and the landlord to even apply to a school. You don't, however, apply to the school directly. You have to fill out an application to the Oxford Council requesting placement for your child. You can bid for an assignment in a few schools of your choice, but ultimately it is up to the council to place your children in whichever school they deem best suitable for you. That does not mean that both children will even get the same school assignment, but they do try to be accommodating.

Unfortunately, it has been almost a full month since we have arrived and our contract is still in the works. We are due to move into our house on Thursday and still lay in wait for an official document allowing us to start the application process. In the meantime, I am trying to stimulate their little minds with books and writing assignments I found online for homeschooling programs. Never in my life did I venture a guess I would be using phrases like "The first one does the talking, and the second one does the walking." in regards to reading words with two vowels. AJ delights me with how adaptable and easy-going he is in any situation I throw at him. He is quickly learning new sight words, and we  may even try our hand at more advanced mathematics. I have also tried taking them on educational outings and give them less standard knowledge to absorb. Here is a picture of us at the Natural History Museum in Oxford. AJ adores dinosaurs and any kind of fossil. Check out the cobra skeletal system!

I am finding Great Britain has zero sense of urgency in any of its matters or business dealings, so I figure at this pace, I am hoping they are enrolled in school by Thanksgiving. 

Finding a school slot isn't the only thing occupying my mind these days. According to the age requirements for school, Paisley is starting Reception (Kindergarten) and AJ will be required to enter year 2 (2nd Grade). AJ just completed Kindergarten when we left so they are asking him to skip an entire year. When I looked into what other families do in this instance, I came across a program for Non-DoDEA schools that hires tutors to catch kids up in their curriculum for the year they missed. 

Big surprise...AJ isn't eligible for this benefit because he is non-command sponsored, yet another grievance we face due to prejudice ruling. You can bet I contacted the council for some reassurance in this matter, and they were somewhat comforting. They said it wouldn't be unheard of to speak to the school directly about our situation so they can approve whether to hold him back a year or not, but the council will only enroll him in the year he is slated for, year 2. I've certainly got my work cut out for me in the next month, so don't hesitate to offer a prayer or a thought on mine and my son's behalf.

Aaron's First Days

Aaron started school last week and has a rigorous first two weeks of lab meetings, social outings, and various mandatory orientation requirements. He is gone from sun-up to sun-down. He is feeling tired while his body adapts to all the walking needed to make it to all his obligations. I think he is knocking out at least 10 miles a day just getting around to all the lectures and finding all the social events on his orientation calendar. Aaron is finding England is a culture of folks that work hard, but play equally as hard as a daily pub crawl is worked into his college orientation packet. 

He has been assigned to a college "family" and has instantly made some friends that share his same interests. He is impressed by the level of thinking brought out during his biweekly lab meetings and is itching to contribute with his own research and findings. Until then, he happily absorbs other perspectives and research conclusions presented by his fellow colleagues. 

He is also encouraged to find extra-curricular activities to offset his overwhelming workload and studies. There was a fair last week for the "freshers" to get a taste of what all Oxford has to offer. When the American football team found out Aaron originates from the U.S. of A., they all but ambushed him. They wanted his expertise in coaching and participation on the field as well. Aaron, although flattered, explained to the chaps that at age 37, he would most likely break a hip if he tried to rough it with the boys. 

Aaron didn't walk away completely empty handed though. He thinks he has found his home with the rowing team. He gave it a go, as they say, at their "taster session" and several of the athletes were impressed by his first time. I believe Aaron has found his nitch and an easier way to exercise and keep his fitness levels required for active duty without putting so much strain on his feet and knees. I told you; he's getting OLD! LOL!

In addition, Aaron reported that one of his favorite events during zero week was attending evensong at New College. It is a non-denominational service, primarily performed in song by the New College Choir, where the Chaplain was able to briefly dedicate and commemorate the beginning of the students' time at Oxford. Seeing and hearing the New College choir has long been one of Aaron's dreams since he was a young man!

Upon arriving home, Aaron insisted I attend an evensong event with him at my earliest convenience. He said the music and ambiance (candlelight only) were superb and he can't wait for me to experience it first-hand. For all you Harry Potter lovers out there, although the chapel itself doesn't appear at Hogwarts, just outside the chapel in the cloisters is where Draco Malfoy was turned into a ferret by the assumed Alastor Moody.

Soon on the Horizon

As I said at the beginning, we move out this week and into our new home that we will occupy for the next three years. Although the house certainly met our space, school, and commuting requirements, it desperately needs a make-over. It looks like a bad Easter egg with every room in a different pastel combination. It will be time to channel my inner Martha Stewart and finally go to work at something I thoroughly enjoy, decorating! I had to leave all my curtains and other furnishings behind in our last house as part of the sale so I have a clean slate to start over. How exciting for me!

Aaron will have finished his first two weeks of orientation and will officially matriculate on Saturday. This will certainly be a special occasion for the whole family to include lots of pictures. 

We leave for Paris shortly after that to hopefully get the picturesque moments I am hoping to capture for this year's family photo shoot and Christmas card cover. Wish me luck as we navigate the English "Chunnel" underground train system and find ourselves in a non-English speaking country for my first time!

Au Revoir,

~K